Thumos, meet Eros

a ritual to reawaken your desire

You are on mute.

Your desire is so muffled now you can hardly make it out. 

Maybe because you’ve subordinated it to other’s needs. Maybe because you’ve been convinced that it’s shameful. Maybe because you’ve been bingeing on unsatisfying stimulation and have ruined your palate.

However you got here, you are slowly realising that without at least witnessing your desire you are living a half-life with no impetus to act or try. You feel listless, tired. Somewhere between a robot and a ghost.

Your desire is a life force generated by the interaction of thumos and eros. Thumos is your passion, your drive, that which exhilarates and inspires you. Eros is your lust, your urges, that which arouses and excites you. Managing and balancing these drives is the work of remaining human in a world that would rather we didn’t. 

This ritual is intended to allow you to tap into both drives and determine what you owe to your own life force. And to give you a push towards action, towards life.

You will need

Pillows, cushions, a yoga mat or whatever you need to comfortably sit and lay on the floor.

A thyme plant

Two smooth stones each as large as you can hold in one hand. One painted black, one painted white. (I recommend finishing them with an acrylic glaze like mod podge so they are smooth and shiny). 

Trance-inducing music of around 5 minutes duration (I like this shamanic drumming track).

The Chariot tarot card or an image of that card (Rider-Waite-Smith version recommended).

Meditation music (I like this album).

This ritual is recommended as a regular practice to use daily or whenever needed. Read the instructions then use the Ritual Recap at the bottom of this page to guide you through your enactment.

Welcome Thumos and Eros

Rub the stalks of your thyme plant between your hands then cup them around your nose and mouth. Take three deep breaths of the plant whose etymological roots lead to thumos. Enjoy the smell.

Bring your hands down to your heart on placing your palm against bare skin. Feel the beat of your heart, the rhythm of your blood in that place where mysteriously desire, love and longing are felt.

Make Confession

Pick up your stones.

Resting them on your knees make confession. Feel the weight of the rocks representing your thumos (in your right hand) and eros (in your left) and admit, out loud, to a moment when you have denied, ignored or dismissed them. You could use the words I have denied my life force by… if you like.

Pick up the Pulse

Play your chosen trance inducing track.

Lift the rocks so your elbows are at a 90 degree angle and the stones are held above your knees. 

Squeeze each stone in turn as you listen to the music and try to imagine you are picking up the pulse of your life force created by the interaction of these two drives. Picture yourself as Plato’s charioteer holding the reigns of these two great forces and moving forwards. Use The Chariot tarot card as a visual aid but once you have the image in your head close your eyes and visualise.

Three Body Scans

When the track finishes, put down your stones, lay back and get comfortable. You may wish to slide your shoulder blades down your back to achieve a comfortable neck position, adjust the tilt of your pelvis to soothe your lower back and/or place a pillow under your knees. 

Play your meditation music.

Starting at your little toes work through every part of your body in a detailed body scan. Focus on the sensation in each body part as your attention moves over it. You might find it helpful to silently name each body part to keep your mind on the sensation. This can be done quickly or slowly, you may linger in certain locations if the feeling there is ambiguous or particularly powerful. 

When you reach the crown of your head ask yourself: what do I want?

Generate three wants thinking about your emotional, physical and mental desires. Feel each of them in your body, be curious: where are they located? Are there any physical sensations associated with them? Emotional responses? Any thoughts pop into your head? You don’t have to remember the details but give yourself the respect of listening to your desires.

Repeat the body scan. This time when you reach the crown of your head ask yourself: what do I need?

Which two of those three wants qualify as needs? By needs I don’t mean ‘necessary for survival’ I mean necessary to honour your life force. Feel those needs. Give them the consideration they deserve.

Repeat the body scan. This time when you reach the crown of your head ask yourself: what is my duty?

Which of those two needs are actually your duty? Not your duty to anyone else but to your own pulse of life force. What is it your duty to do to bring the twin forces of your eros and thumos into actuality? What do you owe them? Feel that duty. If it is truly your duty it should feel exhilarating, weighty and true.

Thank Eros and Thumos

Once you know your duty and have felt it, stand up.

Stand up straight with your feet parallel, bring your shoulder blades down your back and broaden your chest. 

Wrap your arms around yourself and silently thank your eros for its continued presence in your life. Smile. Stay in the embrace for at least 20 seconds.

Making your right hand into a loose fist firmly but gently thump the centre of your chest to honour your thumos in a traditional thumos thump. Keep it up for 20 seconds, if you feel moved to let out an ahhh or other vocalisations go for it, your thumos will thank you!

Make a Move

Place The Chariot card somewhere you can see it (tucked in the corner of a mirror, on the fridge or used as a phone screensaver). As soon as possible after completing this ritual go and make a move to act upon your duty. When you’ve made that move, turn the card over until your next enactment of this ritual.

Ritual Recap

Welcome Thumos and Eros

• Huff thyme

• Hands on heart

Make Confession

• Pick up stones, resting them on your knees, make confession.

Pick up the Pulse

• Play trance inducing track

• Lift stones, squeeze and pick up the pulse.

• Lay back

Three Body Scans

• Play meditation music

• Body scan then ask yourself what do I want?

• 3 wants

• Body scan then ask yourself what do I need?

• 2 needs

• Body scan then ask yourself what is my duty?

• 1 duty

Thank Eros and Thumos

• Stand up

• Hug yourself

• Thumos thump

Make a move

• Go out and make a move.