Should I Stay or Should I Go?
a ritual to make a difficult decision
It’s a big decision.
Is it the right one? You are paralysed with indecision and possible futures run on loops taunting you with their grainy ungraspable quality. You can distract yourself or delay the inevitable but it’s still there: The Decision That Has to be Made.
This ritual will lead you through the labyrinth to meet the true man in the darkness at your centre. He has already made his choice and is waiting for you to turn inwards and let him speak. Call him your Daemon, Deity or the brain in your gut whatever the handle, he knows what’s up. You can’t reach him through reason or bribes, to navigate this dark path you’ll need to do something much harder. You’ll need to let go.
You Will Need
A labyrinth drawn in white on a black background (chalk on black paper works nicely.)
A labyrinth drawn in black on white paper. Drawing them yourself will make the ritual more powerful but if you don’t trust your drawing skills you can download and print them here.
A playlist of music that induces a light trance state (I suggest theta waves binaural beats.)
Three candles and a lighter.
A pen light (like movie critics use, they have a small torch on the nib.)
A notepad and envelope.
A silver-coloured coin.
Mugwort tea or other sleep aid known to produce vivid dreams such as Neuro Rest (optional, but recommended.)
This ritual is to be conducted after dark on an evening when you are feeling physically fit and healthy and not especially tired. It should take less than an hour and then perhaps half an hour the following morning to complete.
The Ritual
Affix the labyrinth on the black background to your wall at eye level when you are seated on the floor. Stick the white labyrinth above it at eye level when standing.
On the floor in front of the labyrinths place three candles, light them and turn all electric lights off. Have your coin, lighter, notepad, envelope and pen handy.
Play your trance inducing music.
Sit on the floor facing the black labyrinth. Starting at the entrance trace your eyes along its path until you reach the centre. When you reach the centre take a deep breath, watch how the light flickers across the surface of the paper then pinch out the candle on the left.
Study the labyrinth again in the reduced light, breathing deeply and slowly. When you are ready, pinch out the middle candle.
Take one last long look at the labyrinth, now lit by only one candle. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly stare at the whole shape in front of you. Close your eyes. Can you see the labyrinth behind your eyelids? When you can see the labyrinth in negative with your eyes closed, it is time to pinch out the final candle.
Close your eyes in the dark until the afterimage of the labyrinth fades. Try to clear your mind and let go of any expectations or anxiety, relax your body. It’s time to stop thinking and start feeling.
Open your eyes and pick up your pen and notebook.
On a fresh page write I have decided to
Take a deep breath and flip your coin.
Using the light on the pen check, is it heads or tails?
Continue the sentence you started a moment ago writing as if you are completely committed to the decision indicated by the coin. Write about:
Why you made that decision.
Why you know it is the right choice.
What your first step towards enacting the decision will be.
Don’t inhibit yourself, write fast. Don't worry if what you write makes sense but remember to write as if the decision has been made definitively.
Once you have filled three sheets of paper, stop writing. Fold the sheets and put them in an envelope. Seal it.
Now scan your body for sensation paying particular attention to any feelings in your stomach, throat or across your skin.
Does your body feel heavy or light?
Tight or loose?
Drained or energised?
On a scale from 1-10 (with five being neutral) how good do you feel right now?
Write that number on the front of the envelope.
Relight the three candles starting with the last one you pinched out.
Stand up slowly, straightening your spine vertebrae by vertebrae. Ensure your feet are parallel, bring your shoulders down and back and turn your palms forward at your sides.
Take a few deep breaths as you gaze at the white labyrinth. Then, starting at the centre trace your eyes around its path until you reach the entrance again.
Once you have completed the second labyrinth stretch your arms above your head, yawn. Then extinguish the candles.
If using, take your sleep aid or drink your tea before going to bed. Keep your notebook and pen handy. Put the envelope under your pillow.
When you wake up either in the middle of the night or the next morning write down anything you can remember about your dreams, even if it’s just a word or a feeling.
The next morning, soon after waking, go outside. Take a few deep breaths to centre yourself then open the envelope and read what you wrote the previous night slowly and thoughtfully.
Repeat the body scan paying particular attention to any feelings in your stomach, throat or across your skin.
Does your body feel heavy or light?
Tight or loose?
Drained or energised?
On a scale from 1-10 (with five being neutral) how good do you feel right now? Write that number on the envelope.
Consider your dreams, in them were you:
Happy or sad?
Scared or excited?
Free or restricted?
Give yourself a score, how good did you feel in your dreams?
Write that number on the envelope too and add the three together.
If the total is sixteen or above I suggest following the choice the coin made for you last night.
If it’s fourteen or below I suggest burning the envelope and taking the other path.
If the total is fifteen, well, maybe you should flip the coin again right now and let fate decide for real this time?
Ritual Recap
Turn on your music.
Trace the black labyrinth inwards.
Pinch out the candles.
Write I have decided to in your notebook.
Flip the coin.
Continue the sentence with the decision indicated by the coin, fold the paper and put it in the envelope.
Body scan, rate how good you feel. Write the number on the envelope.
Stand up slowly.
Trace the white labyrinth outwards.
Stretch.
Go to bed, write down any dreams.
Read what you wrote last night.
Body scan, rate how good you feel. Write the number on the envelope.
Rate how you felt in the dreams.
Add the three numbers together. 16 or more suggests following the coins guidance. 14 or less suggests taking the other path. If your total is 15 maybe you should flip the coin again?
